The Listening
by FallenTrancyButterfly 22
Summary: Alois's reflects on his actions towards Hannah and decides to try and make ammends. (Songfic)


What I Need To Say

/please excuse me, I'm not thinking clear It must be stress But likely I shouldn't be here; I'm such a mess/

Alois sighed as he sat on his bed, running a hand through his blonde hair. His blue eyes were full of conflict, his thoughts swirling.

Why had he stabbed her in the eye..? His own maid who had meant no harm to him..What had caused it? He knew it wasn't right of him and he felt bad. Was it that he wasn't used to kindness and so he had freaked out thinking it was fake? Or...was it the pity and sympathy in her eyes...?

/I never really know what to say When all of my emotions get in the way I'm just trying to get us on the same page (Wish I could explain) /

Those blue eyes... They were so sympathetic..why would she of all people give a damn about him?

Did Hannah honestly think that she could change him, fix what was broken inside him?

He wanted to know..wanted to see if maybe she could but how could he bring that up..? Especially after what he had done to her.

/I always get it better Right afterward When all the wrong impressions Are said and heard How come I can never get the right words I need to convey Wish I could explain the things I need to work out/

Alois had to say something...  
He couldn't just leave things like this, all the words unsaid. He at least had to try and tell her whether he messed up or not. He staggered up out of bed, his body still weak from the sword wound he had suffered in a duel with Ciel Phantomhive. H is mind flashed to Claude standing there while he bled out on the ground, not helping him. His mind then wandered to Hannah who had offered to change his bandages but yet he had pushed her away. He sighed and walked unsteadily out the door.

/I don't feel right What has come over me I'm about to lose my mind/

The room seemed to spin as he made his way determinedly down the hall. He couldn't see correctly but he had to get to her.  
He had to tell Hannah he was sorry..the one person who truly cared for him now. He didn't want to be alone. It terrified the blonde boy.

/I never ever really know what to say When all of my emotions get in the way I'm just trying to get us on the same page (I wish I could explain) /

What would he say when he found her..? What would he do? Would she even want anything to do with him..? Or would she reject him now too? He couldn't blame her if she did. He had hurt Hannah too many times to count. Why did he always have to snap..?

/I always get it better Right afterward After all the wrong impressions Are said and heard How come I can never get the right words?  
I need to convey Wish I could explain/

As he made it to the end of the hall the blonde boys legs gave out on him but when he started to fall he felt a pair of arms catch him. It took him a moment to focus. Blue eyes looked back into his own.  
"Are you ok, your highness..?" Hannah's voice was soft, as if waiting to get pushed away or reprimanded for helping him.  
"Hannah.." Alois started and moved a hand to her cheek just below the bandage over her eye. He felt sick with himself..he had done this..  
How could he even begin to apologize..?

/can I let the trees do the talking Can I let the ground do the walking Can I let the sky fill what's missing Can I let my mouth do the listening The listening/

He had to force his mouth to work. He needed to say it now.  
"Hannah I'm...I'm so sorry.." He said in a wavering voice as tears formed in his eyes.  
"I'm sorry...so sorry.." He continued. It was the only thing he could think to say. No excuse was acceptable..that left only this. Hannah smiled softly, her blue eyes full of warmth as she hugged the boy close to her.  
"Shh, it's ok. I'm not going to leave you. It's ok."

/I never really ever know what to say When all of my emotions get in the way I'm just trying to get us on the same page/

Alois was surprised by the hug..Had she really forgiven him so easily and still cared about him enough to hold him while he cried? So this is what it meant to have someone love you. This happy and accepted feeling without having to tell someone to give you affection. His sobs didn't quiet as he continued with his apologies, shaking in her arms.  
"Please don't hate me.." He whimpered out.  
"Don't leave me alone.."

/I always get it better Right afterward When all the wrong impressions Are said and heard How come I can never get the right words I need to convey Wish I could explain What I mean to say/

"I will never leave your side...and I could never hate you, your highness.." Hannah said as she stroked the young boys hair softly. Her voice was sympathetic and kind before she gently kissed the top of his head.  
"Hannah... Thank you." Alois whispered out. He may not be good with emotions or appreciating things but he was trying..little by little 


End file.
